As online dating sites become the most popular way to search for love, many singletons are finding that they have to learn the rules on social engagement. Here are 5 big mistakes that can turn your search for a mate into a disaster.
There are loads of profiles on dating sites that make us cringe. They are often badly written, almost offensive, blatantly crude or just a waste of the bandwidth it cost to type it in.
So what are the worst things you can do when trying your luck with online dating, and how do you avoid doing them?
Literally thousands of people seem to think that in dating-cyberspace it’s okay to bend the truth – to make yourself come over as a better catch. Some people think it’s OK to knock off a few years of age, add a few £1,000’s on their salary. tell you about the hundreds of friends they have. Even worse they forget to tell you they are married, or live somewhere they don’t while they play a criminal game of extortion. Frightening? It could be – but it’s a good job most decent singles can see through the lies. There are actually a gaggle of private investigators who specifically market themselves in providing background checks for people that you’ve met online. They exist and thrive in numbers because there’s obviously a need for their services. You may even be breaking the law if your lies entrap someone. If you are married, but claiming you are single, it counts as fraud in many countries such as the USA and can carry huge fines. If you’re thinking of lying don’t underestimate the plethora of information floating around the Internet about you – your Facebook and Twitter profiles can be accessed. So if you are named John Smith you might get away with it, but a name search that shows only one person matching your name can lead an inquisitive, but sensible, potential admirer, to make some checks of their own. They will see how many online friends you have, your family, the subject matter of posts you write or comment on and also your beliefs and political outlook (if any). It does not pay to lie – and how will you play it when you finally meet the dream-date? Continue to lie? Not a good formula for a great relationship is it.
Don’t use text talk
How old are you? To be on a dating site you should be 18 or older, so talking like a 12 year old girl, typing “U” instead of “you” is reducing your vailidity as a good catch. It’s just not an “adult” thing to do. It can make you look slobbish and lazy. If that’s the impression you are after then carry on with txt-speek, and maybe you’ll meet a similarly childlike mate, To be in with a better chance of love, write your profile in grammatically correct sentences, taking care to spell correctly – use a spell checker before publishing it. Another BIG MISTAKE is the use of CAPITAL LETTERS – ALL IN UPPER CASE. This is the online equivalent of shouting in someone’s face. It does not convey any sense of compassion or sensitivity.
Don’t talk about bad experiences
People are not attracted to others who continually moan about past experiences. Move on from that. Forget it. No-one else is interested in your past misery. By all means mention fun-things from the past, but never dwell on those bad days. Someone might be interested in you, but they are probably hoping for someone who is fun to be around. Feeling sorry for yourself in your dating profile, or messages, is a bad way of demonstrating just how dull you can be. Your new mate will think – what the hell will my future be with him/her? Bragging about your past conquests is not a great idea either. Try to find an in-between place. Come across as fun to be around without being arrogant or unforgiving.
Don’t use inaccurate photos
If you’re planning to have an online-only relationship, then post a photo of a lizard, a puppy, your mother – whatever you like. But if you’re ever hoping to meet up with someone you’re talking to, they will find out won’t they? They will probably react badly. If you’re hoping to begin a good relationship then don’t start out under false pretences, having to explain things. It’s a good idea to post as many current images of yourself as you can – it shows that you are serious, open and actively representing yourself. At very least a new photo is a good opener for a new conversation subject.
Don’t use just one site
Online dating is in reality a marketing exercise. The more you put yourself out there, the more responses you’re likely to get. Some dating sites will prove to be a waste of time, with little or no interest. You need to find a site whos members fit your needs, and they live close enough to you or share the same interests. In fact, date-site customers often cannot find out the size of the dating community, so join as many different dating sites as you can afford to. Good marketing does not come cheap.
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